Sometimes when people are going thru a divorce, they start to fight over the most petty and sometimes silly things. I thought it might make for an interesting blog to discuss some of the things that I have seen over the years and things you should definitely NOT be arguing about when going through a divorce. Focus on the big picture and forget about all the small things that don’t amount to anything substantial and significant when getting a divorce.
- Property division- I have seen parties fight over fishing poles, CDs (music discs), beanie babies, Precious Moments figurines, nuts and bolts, family pictures, personalized vehicle license plates, tools, a washer and dryer, garden tools, hoses, lawn mowers, snowblowers, among other small property issues.
- Children’s issues- attending sports events, bringing significant others to the children’s activities, refusing to let the other parent come to routine medical and dental examinations; refusal to show any flexibility in a routine placement schedule; denying the other parent the right to go on their vacation time; not allowing the other parent to have make up time if placement is missed, such as the child being sick; Refusing to communicate except through (OFW), the our family wizard program; putting the other parent on speaker phone when talking to the children so the other parent can hear everything that is said; refusing to share vital educational information from the school with the other parent;
- Support and financial issues; Not reporting a bonus or commission when received; deferring a raise or promotion until after the divorce is completed; refusing overtime hours, when the person has a traditionally worked overtime; taking a lesser paying job with an attempt to get out of having to pay more support; not coming to court with complete and accurate financial information with the goal being to have to pay less in support money; quitting a good job to avoid paying support.
If you are doing any of these things, you should immediately stop. They will only anger your spouse and certainly anger the court if brought to the court’s attention. If your spouse is guilty of some or all of the above, you should file a contempt motion where appropriate if any court orders are being violated. The courts do not like “self help” measures and the courts do not like when parties engage in spiteful, irrational actions during the divorce. If you are not sure what you can or cannot do, call an experienced family lawyer and ask them. If you need further, help, call our office as we offer a 100% confidential first consultation. 414 453 0800 or email me directly at [email protected]