Common Questions a Guardian ad Litem Will Ask You and Your Child

What Not to Say to a Guardian Ad Litem and What to Expect the First Time You Meet

A Guardian ad Litem investigation typically occurs when the parties involved are unable to reach an agreement on custody or placement decisions for their children. When the parties cannot resolve child-related issues independently, the court appoints an attorney to assess the children’s best interests and provide recommendations to the court regarding the most suitable custody and placement arrangements. This court-appointed neutral third party serves as a child advocate throughout the legal process.

The Guardian ad Litem (“GAL”) usually carries significant influence over the judge’s decision-making, as the GAL is appointed to act as the judge’s eyes and ears in these matters. As a result, your interactions and communication with the GAL can heavily impact the GAL’s investigation and their view of what is best for your child. Understanding what to expect and how to prepare for a GAL investigation can be crucial in determining the case outcome. Many parents wonder how long it takes for a GAL to complete their investigation, who pays for GAL services, and what happens after the investigation concludes. Keep reading for first meeting tips and insights that will help you present your case effectively!

What Not to Say to a Guardian ad Litem (GAL)

Interacting with a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is an essential part of the family law process, and how you communicate with the GAL can significantly influence the outcome of your case. Understanding common mistakes to avoid and how to make a good impression during your interactions is critical. To ensure that your interactions remain productive and respectful, here are some key points on what not to say to a Guardian ad Litem:

1. Avoid Speaking Negatively About the Other Parent
   It’s crucial to refrain from badmouthing the other parent. Speaking negatively or making derogatory remarks about the other parent can reflect poorly on you and may be seen as an attempt to undermine their relationship with the child. Instead, focus on your child’s needs and well-being, without comparing or criticizing the other party. This co-parenting perspective demonstrates your commitment to the best interests standard perspective that the family court prioritizes.

2. Don’t Lie or Make False Accusations
   Honesty is paramount when speaking with a Guardian ad Litem. Lying or making unfounded accusations will not only harm your credibility but could also damage your case. Always provide truthful, factual information and avoid exaggerating details. The trained professional conducting the investigation will document all statements and may verify claims through third-party interviews and witness statements.

3. Avoid Bashing or Blaming the Other Parent in Front of Your Children
   It’s essential to maintain a neutral, child-centered approach. Speaking negatively about the other parent to your children, or in front of them, can create confusion and emotional stress for the child, which may impact the GAL’s perception of your parenting. Concerns about parental alienation are taken seriously during custody determination processes.

4. Don’t Attempt to Influence or Coach Your Child
   The GAL may interview your child as part of their investigation. It’s important not to attempt to coach your child on what to say or how to act during these interviews. Children should feel free to express their feelings and thoughts naturally, without pressure from either parent. The child’s perspective on living arrangements will be gathered using age-appropriate questions and child interview techniques designed by the experienced investigator.

5. Avoid Demanding or Expecting Specific Outcomes
   While it’s natural to want the GAL to support your position, avoid making demands or expecting the GAL to take sides. Instead, focus on presenting factual information that highlights your commitment to your child’s well-being. The GAL’s role is to remain impartial and recommend the best interests of the child. The independent custody evaluator will prepare a final report with a court recommendation based on their thorough investigation.

6. Don’t Discuss What You Think You Deserve or Critique the Legal Process
   The GAL’s role is not to decide what you “deserve” but to ensure that the child’s needs are met. Avoid statements that revolve around your personal desires or what you believe you are entitled to. Likewise, refrain from telling the GAL how they should do their job or offering unsolicited legal advice. If you have concerns about your legal rights during an investigation, consult with your legal counsel or attorney representation before the meeting.

Preparation Tips for Parents

Preparing for Your Initial Meeting

Your first meeting with a GAL will usually be one-on-one. You will meet with the GAL at his or her office without your attorney, without the child’s other parent present, and without your child. The GAL will conduct an informational interview to learn about you, your relationship with the other parent, and your relationship with your children. This licensed attorney will use their investigative perspective to gather comprehensive information during the confidential process.

Be prepared for the GAL to inquire about the following:

• Your family history and significant life events: This includes details about where you grew up, how you were raised, and the nature of your relationships with your parents and siblings. It also covers whether your parents were divorced, as well as any family history of abuse, neglect, poverty, or issues related to drugs or alcohol.
• Your relationship history with the other parent: This includes information about when and how you met, the duration of your relationship, how you became parents together, how you manage your responsibilities as co-parents, and how the relationship ended. It also covers whether there is any history of spousal abuse or domestic violence.
• Your relationship with your child: This involves your past caregiving role, how you see that role evolving in the future, any parenting challenges or successes you have had, and what your child might say about you as a parent.
• Your child’s relationship with the other parent: This includes the caregiving role the other parent has played, any changes you would like to see in that role, any parenting struggles or successes they have experienced, and what your child might say about their relationship with the other parent.
• Information about your child: Information about your child: This includes your child’s personality and interests, how they are performing in school, any medical or educational concerns, any special relationships with third parties like grandparents or daycare providers (which can raise questions about grandparents rights in Wisconsin), their daily routine, and any holiday traditions they celebrate with you or other family members. The GAL reviews school records and medical records as part of their home environment assessment.
• The nature of the dispute: This covers the custody arrangement you are seeking, your understanding of the other parent’s proposal, the reasons for your disagreements, any compromises you might be willing to consider, and what your child would like in terms of custody and placement, along with the reasons behind their preferences. Understanding the parents’ perspective on custody and desired parenting time allocation helps the GAL develop an appropriate placement schedule recommendation.
• Any relevant third parties or third-party information that could influence the investigation: This includes any witnesses who could support your position, as well as the names and contact information for school personnel, daycare providers, or pediatricians who may have relevant records or information. The family law specialist may exercise their record access authority and subpoena authority to obtain necessary documentation.

Sometimes, GALs provide written questionnaires for parties to complete and return in lieu of a lengthy personal interview. If so, you can consult with your child custody lawyer about how to best provide information in response to the questionnaire. Even if you began your case with an uncontested divorce lawyer in Wisconsin, any new disputes regarding the children may trigger a GAL investigation, making expert legal guidance essential. Many parents ask, “Do I need a lawyer?” and “How to choose a custody lawyer” when facing a GAL investigation—the answer is that professional representation can significantly impact the case outcome.

At the close of your first meeting, the GAL might also ask you to gather specific documentation or information. If so, you should cooperate with your attorney to ensure the GAL gets everything he or she needs. The GAL might also ask you to sign authorizations that will allow them to gather information or records directly from the source. If this is the case, you can consult with your attorney, but generally, you will want to cooperate with the GAL’s requests. Understanding your legal authority and privacy concerns is important, but cooperation typically serves your best interests.

Finally, the GAL might schedule a home visit and, if your children are school-age or older, it is likely the GAL will want to meet the children as well.

Preparing for the Home Visit

If your case is in a county that requires a custody and placement evaluation by a county social worker, it is likely the GAL will do a joint visit with the social worker. If a custody and placement evaluation has not been ordered in your case, the GAL will likely come visit you alone or possibly with a secretary or paralegal from his or her office who can assist with taking notes or pictures. This home safety inspection is a standard part of the investigation timeline.

In general, here are some tips to consider regarding the GAL’s home visit:

• Photos & Videos: The GAL or social worker may wish to take photographs or videos during the home visit.  This is not unusual—particularly if the other parent is alleging a party’s home is unsuitable for the children. It is important to ensure your home is clean, orderly, and kid-friendly prior to the visit for this reason. Photo documentation and video recording are standard investigative powers used during the home environment assessment.
• Surprise Drop-Bys vs Scheduled Visits: Most times, the GAL will arrange the visit in advance. In other cases, the visit may be a surprise if there is a reason to try to catch the parent off guard (for example, if there is an allegation that the parent drinks too much or frequently leaves the children home alone). Assuming the visit is scheduled in advance, you should ask the GAL if they would like the children to be present or not. Oftentimes, the GAL likes to see the children in their home and likes to gauge their interaction with their environment. It can also make children more comfortable to meet the GAL in their own home, where they can proudly show the GAL their bedrooms and introduce them to family pets.
• Level-Playing Field: The guardian ad litem may also decide to visit both parents’ homes so the investigation seems even-handed, even where there has not necessarily been an issue raised as to the living conditions at the other parent’s home. This objective approach reflects the child welfare perspective and ensures an unbiased evaluation.
• Short Duration: Expect the home visit to be of fairly short duration, anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes, or so, depending on whether the guardian ad litem plans to talk or interview the children during the visit.
• Third Parties Can Be Present: While one would technically have a right to have their attorney present during the home visit, usually the visits are arranged in advance with the consent of the attorneys, and there is no reason for the attorneys to be present during the home visit. The GAL may also want to meet other adults or individuals who live at the home with the children, such as stepparents or stepsiblings. Such people should be present at the home visit if requested by the GAL. Third-party observations from household members may be included in the GAL’s comprehensive assessment.

What Not to Say to a Guardian Ad Litem

There are certain individuals who should not be present during the home visit if their presence may cause issues for the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) or complicate the situation. For instance, if the parent has a new boyfriend or girlfriend who does not typically interact with the children, that person should not be included in the home visit. Similarly, overly curious grandparents or next-door neighbors should not participate in the visit unless the GAL has specifically requested their presence. Lastly, pets that are overly friendly or aggressive should be safely put away during the home visit to prevent them from jumping on or potentially injuring the GAL or their assistants.

Tips for Child Preparation

Although in some scenarios, a guardian ad litem might elect to choose to conduct an interview with a child in their own office, they may wish to schedule a home visit instead to see the children in their own environment, as it’s less intimidating for the child.

What Kind of Questions Does a Guardian Ad Litem Ask a Child

GALs typically ask questions with two main purposes in mind: (1) to help put the children at ease, and (2) to gather information. If you have more than one child, the GAL may choose to interview them either separately or together, depending on their ages. In some cases, the GAL may offer the children a puzzle or art supplies, allowing them to “fidget” with something and feel less distracted. The GAL will strive to make the interview as positive and conversational as possible. These child interview techniques help children express preferences to GAL naturally and comfortably.

To help put the child at ease, the GAL may ask questions about:

• School—What subjects do they like? What do they like to take for lunch? Who is their teacher
• Friends—Who are their friends? What do they like to do together?
• Interests—Do they play any sports? What video games do they like? Do they play an instrument? Are they in any clubs or organizations?
• Family—Who are the members of their family? Do they have pets? Do they take trips to visit family members?

The GAL may also inter-mix “getting to know you” questions with “fact-gathering” questions such as:

• What do you like to do with your Mom?
• What are some things your Dad is good at?
• What time do you have to go to bed at your Mom’s house?
• Who helps you with homework—your mom or your dad?

Finally, GALs will generally ask children the following questions:

• What did your parent(s) tell you about why you are meeting with me?
• What did your parent(s) tell you to tell me?
• Is there anything your parents told you not to tell me?

GALs typically will NOT explicitly ask children who they want to live with. However, the child’s preference in custody may be inferred from age-appropriate questions about their daily routines and relationships with each parent.

Preparing a Child for the Home Visit

Sometimes, the GAL will meet the children separately before scheduling a home visit. Other times, the GAL may wish to meet the children contemporaneously with a home visit. Either way, you can help your child prepare for the home visit as you would help them prepare to meet any guest in your home.

Rest assured, an experienced GAL has “seen it all” and will not hold it against you if your children behave like children at the home visit. After all, that is the point: To observe the children’s behavior in their own home.

It is normal to be nervous, but remember: the GAL wants what is best for your children—you are allies in that goal. And now that you know what to expect and how to prepare for the GAL investigation, you can focus less on your fear of the unknown and more on your children’s best interests! Understanding what GAL looks for, the cost of GAL services, how to challenge GAL findings if needed, and what happens after the investigation can help reduce anxiety about the process. If you’re wondering whether you can refuse a GAL or how the GAL report’s impact will affect your hearing or trial, consult with qualified legal counsel. Contact us today so our lawyer for child custody can help you get your life back on track. Our Wisconsin family law attorney team can represent you throughout the GAL process, help you file necessary petitions or motions, negotiate favorable parenting plan terms, and advocate for your parental rights in family court. Whether you need help understanding Wisconsin custody laws, preparing for a hearing, or pursuing mediation as an alternative dispute resolution method, our professional team is here to help.